Gentility
Larry Birnbaum, PhD, FASEP, EPC
Department of Exercise Physiology
The College of St. Scholastica
Duluth, MN  55811

Many articles and a number of books have been written on professionalism, several of which list and describe attributes of a professional.  One attribute I have not seen included in those lists is gentility.  Yet, this is an attribute that can really set a professional apart from others.  By gentility, I do not mean upper class snobishness.  Rather I see it as being refined or polished, having good manners, being courteous, and exercising discretion appropriately.  To me, it also implies a gentleness of manner and being wise.  Throughout my life I have been most impressed with professionals who possess this quality.  I am more inclined to respect them and trust them. 

Granted most of the professionals I have encountered who are genteel have been medical doctors and usually silvered haired; however, I have met an occasional nurse, professor, lawyer, businessman and young doctor who had that gentle, gracious manner.  I submit that this is a quality that all professionals should have.  As exercise physiologists pursuing professionalization, we too should express this gentle nature.  Yet, I dare say that most of us lack gentility.  It would help our goal of professionalization immensely if we all developed this quality.  Of course, it would help us as individuals as well.  The implication is that we can acquire this quality.  How?

It may be beneficial to start with behaviors and attitudes that we should never portray to any one, especially our clients.  Apathy is a sure killer of any kind of meaningful interaction with clients.  Professionals who express indifference to their clients’ challenges and needs will likely lose those clients in short order, and rightfully so as they are failing to serve them.  Clients need to feel that they are more than just another item being processed in an assembly line fashion.  We need to consider how we feel when we are given the bare minimum time and treatment for whatever ails us. 

The perception is that we are not worth the health care provider’s time or concern.  Similarly, health care providers who come across as cold and disaffectionate also fail to serve their clients.  Still another negative trait that disenfranchises clients is arrogance.  An attitude of superiority never wins the hearts of any one.  Like the aforementioned negative traits, it is counterproductive in any client-provider relationship.  So these are some traits that could be considered the opposite of gentility.  How then can I develop or acquire gentility?

Just avoiding negative traits is insufficient.  I must develop traits mentioned above like having good manners, being courteous, displaying a gentle disposition and subtle wisdom.  Gentility requires compassion and empathy for humankind, an understanding of struggles that people face, and the ability to put those struggles into their proper perspective relative to all of humankind (i.e., wisdom).  Eye contact with clients is essential but the professional’s eyes must also show genuine concern for clients.  If the heartfelt compassion is lacking, the eyes will likely betray the provider.  

Gentility requires passion for the professional’s discipline such that he maintains currency in his practice.  It also requires good communication skills.  The professional must be able to effectively communicate relevant information to her clients in a manner that says, “I really care about you.”  Finally, gentility requires grace, poise, even charm, not to the point that clients adore the provider, but certainly to the degree that clients trust, respect and feel good about the provider. 

For most of us, I think developing gentility is a significant challenge that may require a life-long journey.  I believe it is a necessary and worthwhile journey.  Perhaps, if we make a serious and sustained effort, we will not have to be silver haired before our clients and colleagues perceive us as genteel.